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Greetings, arseholes.
It's funny how in Oregon, the great northwest, or as I call it "The Great Snore Fest" the weather here is so tame and dull that whenever a little swirly cloud touches down in Clark County, or so much as an anchovi's cunts full of snow falls over St. John's (Have you ever seen an anchovi's cunt, its rather small and foul smelling, much like St. John's itself) we get bombarded with all this STORM WATCH bollocks. Please spare the embarassment of having to explain to my friends from out of state, why all the drivers in Portland go absolutely ape shit when having to drive through heavy rain or bad conditions. Perhapse its because they are from California where the sun just shines and shines, until it bakes away the top portion of their brains. That's important my chums, that top part is the cerebral cortex. It governs the ability to use logic and make intelligent decisions, like electing this guy.
I've heard theres been a bit of upheavel over the publication of the Joshua (Mr. Bortnick's shoorm dealing nephew) Bortnick story. Some have said that Mr. Bortnick is pissed that a kid named Connor Smith, a good friend of mine has, well talked a bit of shite about the crazy fuck. Others say that Bortnick has confronted Connor about his blog entry regarding said crazy fuck. I'm impressed by Mr. Bortnick's bravery. Theres no way I would risk a confrontation with the terrifying beast that is Connor Yoshio Smith, the kid is built like a shit brick house, and I'm sure that a battle royal between the two would a be an epic sight to behold. It'd be kind of like watching a big muscly asian dude versus, Voldo from Soul Caliber. If voldo taught AP Economics
Now some have suggested that I not mention the Joshua (Mr. Bortnick's shoorm dealing nephew) Bortnick story, in hopes of not offending the Bortnick family. It's a shame that Mr. Bortnick should have to be associated with Joshua (Mr. Bortnick's shoorm dealing nephew), and his story. But I insist that the story of Joshua (Mr. Bortnick's shoorm dealing nephew) Is indeed a public one, and can be found in the Oregonian and If the Oregonian can display this story, then by god, I can too.
That said. Heres the news.
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News, and Bollotics. Friday edition.
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The Ron Paul campaign goes absolutely tits up
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A series of newsletters in the name of GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul contain several racist remarks -- including one that says order was restored to Los Angeles after the 1992 riots when blacks went "to pick up their welfare checks."
"These stories may be very old in Ron Paul's life, but they're very new to the American public and they deserve to be totally ventilated," said David Gergen, a CNN senior political analyst. "I must say I don't think there's an excuse in politics to have something go out under your name and say, 'Oh by the way, I didn't write that.'"
The controversial newsletters include rants against the Israeli lobby, gays, AIDS victims and Martin Luther King Jr. -- described as a "pro-Communist philanderer." One newsletter, from June 1992, right after the LA riots, says "order was only restored in L.A. when it came time for the blacks to pick up their welfare checks."
I have to say, I am disappointed in Ron Paul and his lack of ability to make us libertarians look like any more than complete and utter fucking nut jobs. You see the reason why Libertarians won't get elected by the majority is because we all seem like insane anarchists. Democrats and disagree with Republicans and Republicans feel the same way with Democrats. Unfortunatly, both groups look at us Libertarians and say " oh ho, fuck these crazy arseholes ain't gettin' nowhere near the white house. Looks like that ain't changin' anytime soon.
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Karl Rove thinks Obama is "lazy"
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The man behind President Bush's two successful presidential bids, who once offered advice to Obama on how he could defeat Hillary Clinton, is now taking direct aim at him — calling the Illinois senator "lazy" and "given to misstatements and exaggerations."
Right, so MC Rove has criticized Obama on his work ethic. Fuck him. Decpetive fuck. Seriously I want no imput from his sort. He has helped lead america down a path of absolute bollocks.
If Karl Rove with the way you do things, then you know you're doing it the right way.
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Chinese blogger beaten to death
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(CNN) -- Authorities have fired an official in central China after city inspectors reportedly beat to death a man who filmed their confrontation with villagers, China's Xinhua news agency reports.
The killing has sparked outrage in China, with thousands expressing outrage in Chinese Internet chat rooms, often the only outlet for public criticism of the government.
The incident has also alarmed advocates of press freedom, who say municipal authorities had no right to attack a man for simply filming them.
Wow, well thats unnerving. For all the crap I give this country, I am glad that we still do have the right to blog and speak freely. Lets just hope that that kind of shit goes down in China and not Chinatown. As a blogger
this makes my arsehole clench a bit with fear.
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Hugs, 'girl talk' won't send sex scandal teacher to jail
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(CNN) -- Debra Lafave, the former Florida middle school teacher convicted of having sex with a student, violated her probation by hugging a young co-worker, a Florida judge found Thursday.
But the judge did not send Lafave to jail, saying the violation was "not willful and substantial."
"Please don't come back," he scolded.
Dressed in a tailored, black pantsuit, Lafave said she had "innocent" physical contact with a female co-worker she knew as under age 18.
Hmm, well I'm surprised that student-teacher sex scandels don't happen more often. I mean, consider Westview. Now I won't name names, because that could get yours truly in a lot of trouble, however all the guys know there is a teacher or two at Westview who could give a lad a good time. I know I have struggled to concentrate on my work because of a couple teachers and student teachers. Likewise I think we all know of a certain math teacher who is more than preferrential to his female students. We all know this stuff goes on, but few of us will say anything of it.
That said. Honestly, who cares, so this woman sexed up a 14 year old boy, or should say Man, as he is now or rather as she made him. She probably made his year, and chances are he wasn't even a virgin at the time. Times have changed, and I doubt a freshman in high school guy was "traumatised" by gettin' some.
And if any of you think that last comment makes me sound creepy, fuck you. Get a grip.
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Celebritney News...
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Britney's Last Chance
TMZ has learned that Monday's custody hearing could be one of the most important days in Britney Spears' life. We're told Brit must show and face the judge if she's got any hope of getting her kids back. Our sources tell us if she doesn't show, or is uncooperative, it could be curtains for her custody case.
I mean clearly she is distraught over her custody loss, I mean she had to go to Mexico to con sole herself. Obviously shes a caring, loving mother that deserves full custody. Bollocks. I mean if K-Fed looks like the responsible better choice for custody of y our children. Then you know you've lost the plot. It almost seems as if Britney and Jamie Lynn are duking it out over who can be more fucked up and irresponsible. Let the suicide watch begin.
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G-Unit's Yayo, I TOLD you I didn't do it!
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The other defendant in rapper Tony Yayo's assault case told detectives months ago that it was himself -- and not Yayo -- who assaulted a 14-year-old victim, according to new information the D.A. disclosed in court Thursday.
Sources tell TMZ that in a hearing in New York Criminal Court Thursday, the D.A. revealed that Lowell Fletcher told detectives back in August that he had assaulted the victim, and that Yayo (real name: Marvin Bernard) actually tried to restrain him from doing so, which would seem to clear G-Unit Co-Founder of assault charges.
t's unclear why the evidence was introduced today. We asked the D.A., and as of the close of business, they didn't have an answer. Last summer, Yayo smacked down a plea deal that would've cost him 9 months in prison for his guilty plea.
Tony's lawyer, Scott Leemon, tells TMZ, "I'm glad that after a year, evidence is finally emerging that could prove that Tony Yayo is not guilty." The rapper is due back in court in a week, with his trial scheduled to begin March 31.
I say, I'm glad the justice system has come through once again. I mean god knows we need more Yayo in rap music. Theres just not enough brainless, gangsta gun toting, bitch slapping, chain snatching bullshit out there and 50 Cent needs his man back, after "Curtis" got his ass kicked by Kanye West. I guess 50 didn't make Graduation, he'll held back a grade, and I think Intro to creative writing should be on his schedule.
Free Yayo indeed.
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Music Corner - Album Review; The Cool, Lupe Fiasco.
The Cool, keeps it fresh and real, if not a bit creepy too.
Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor, was nice introduction to a welcome change in Hip Hop. In an era of material rhymes, violent lyrics and self promoting mantras, It's nice to see a rapper that's not phased by fame. His sophomore album The Cool, presented a tougher spookier side of Fiasco's persona, one that isn't afraid of being blunt about controversial issues. I do enjoy the concious stylings of the Chicago native, however I feel as if the abscence of Kanye West from the production team is felt in negative way. Food and Liquor possessed a smoother, more creative melody. Whereas The Cool was somewhat less polished. I did find that Lupe has grown as a lyricist, and his flow has become even more impressive. The subject matter and his take on the game of hip hop is ambiously moral.
The brilliance of songs like Streets on Fire, come through in its deepness and complex rhyming structure:
"Sickness some are still in doubt of it's existence
Some call it forgiveness and some call it the vengeance
Some say it's an exit and some say it's an entrance
The poor say the rich have the cure
The rich say the poor are the source
Revolutionaries say it's psychological war
Invented by the press
Just to have something to report
Some say the first case came from a maternity war
Some say em all some say the skies some say the floor
Whores say the nuns,
nuns say the whores
And everybody is sure
The scientists said it only infects the mind
The little boy said it only infects the girls
The Preacher said it's gonna kill off the soul
A bum said it's gonna kill the whole wide world"
It leaves lyricists like myself in shear admiration of his clever word play, it beats around the bush just enough to drive its point home without lecturing about it.
We know that Lupe doesn't drink or party, but to take a stand against industry standard material is something most rappers don't take a chance with. While his lyrics and flow have improved, the execution of the album as a whole comes up short of genius. I honestly feel as if some of the beats just shy of completion and the influence of a visionary like Timbaland or Kanye West would have made the album an instant classic. This doesn't mar the album too much. It just takes the sheen off what could have been a grammy contender. Still as an overall body of work, it's impressive. Definatly one to add to your collection.
My Verdict: 4 bollocks out of 5.
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My Rant of the Week: Ice Skating.
Well well well. I suppose you must ask me. How can I complain about ice skating? You go there and just look, everyone is having such a great time! I say, yes that is true. everyone there is having a the time of their fuckin lives. The reason being, people who can't do it, don't like it. And those who don't like it, DON'T GO. See, I was invited to go ice skating this weekend. And though I appreciate the gesture of being included in their (Caleb, Chris, Amber ect.) plans, it couldn't have been a more disasterous evening for me. I can't skate at all. So my main objective going into it was, don't fall.
My thoughts...
"okay, wow these are uncomfortable. It's much colder than I thought here."
" of course you idiot, it's ice skating, of course it cold."
" right okay me, lets give this a go"
:::steps onto ice:::
"oh jesus god!" " don't fall don't fall don't fall"
Megan: "come Ray, thats not skating, you have to glide like this!"
Ray: okay thats fine, im doing well here, I think i'm gonna learn this yet!
WOOP, BAM, PHIZZ, CRUNCH. There I go, ass over tea kettle.
The fucked up thing about ice is, you slide, so you can't tell whether or not you've lost balence until it's too late. Basically I started to fall backwards, and in a futile attempt to stop myself, I sat on my ankle. turning it to near destruction. So I limped off the rink. The fucked up thing about injury. Is that nobody takes mine seriously, I could break my tibia so it protrudes out my shin Djibrill Cisse style, and everyone would yelling, " ahh get up and walk it off, Pussy." Fuckers. So at the behest of my friends, I gave it another go. I started to skate along the wall, and I kept trying to grab the rails. Except the cunts who designed it, added maybe 3/8ths of a centimeter of protuding wall to grab onto. Just enough to try and grab that little bit on your way down to the hard cold ice.
Yeah, not doing that again. Ice Skating, yet another thing I can add to large yet steadily increasing list of things I'm not good at.
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Well thats all for now, coming up next week hopefully 3 new segments: This Week in Rage w/ Michael Cornea, Poet's Corner, and "Who's Going in the Volcano?"
eh... I have job interview at Jamba Juice tomorrow. oh yes.
Happy Wanking.
